A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize