You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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