We're facebook friends in real life
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
