Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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