I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
