dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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