This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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