Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize