He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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