Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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