Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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