You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
