Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Randomize
