ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
