i think i have two assholes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
