living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
