i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
