do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are the jesus of drinking
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
