Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
