you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
