He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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