We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize