just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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