Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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