oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
