wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
