I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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