Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
