Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
