The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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