I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
