i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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