did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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