i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
