In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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