I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
