Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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