The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We were destined to go to rehab together
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
