went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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