i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
