so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
