The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
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I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I need a burrito and a hug.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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