Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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