He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
