Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
