1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize