Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
