i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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