haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
