i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception