Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
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You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
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I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over