he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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