I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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