he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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