he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
