It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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