my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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