Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
