just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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