you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
